Is Rihanna Trolling Her Fans? | 5 Questions w/ DESUS & MERO | Season 2

Is Rihanna Trolling Her Fans? | 5 Questions w/ DESUS & MERO | Season 2


[MUSIC PLAYING] Every week we like to talk
to our audience members, our faithful members of
Bodega Hive ask some questions and hopefully give them
some answers that will not– – You know what I’m saying?
– –result in us going to jail. Or, you know what I’m saying,
discovering secret families. First question. Yeah, so today’s
Rihanna’s birthday. Yeah, sweet, sweet love. Yeah. And she’s like never
going to release this album. DESUS: Yeah, it’s
never happening. So why do you think
she’s trolling her fans? You know what?
She doesn’t need them anymore. She has a lot of money. She dated a billionaire. She has an unlimited
supply of panties. She doesn’t need y’all niggas. She’s good. She’s like, oh,
she be in makeup. She’s doing big things. What if she hasn’t
recorded a new album? What if you guys are
putting mad pressure on her and she doesn’t want
to make a new album? What if she was
just– what if– right, like it’s like,
“Yo, we want a new album.” She was like, “Yeah, yeah,
yeah, I got you, I got you.” You ever just pick up a text
and be like, “Yeah, I got you,” and then like throw your phone
in a corner and then like nah. DESUS: Yeah, yeah.
– That’s what she– She’s probably looking
through her Instagram like, “Oh, shit, I got to
drop another album, fuck.” Oh, I got to do
an album, fuck. That shit’s crazy. And then what if Rihanna
drops the album and that shit is wack? Not that that could ever
happen with my queen, but, just saying, you
know, anything is possible. Next question? AUDIENCE: Hey, how’s it going? Hey. Sucio Gang! Being the best hosts
that you are, obviously, what awards show would
you like to host, if any? Oh, that’s a good one, uh. Hm. The Westminster Dog Show. Yes. Because they’re not ready for– yo, if you– because
think about it. When you watch the
Westminster Dog Show, it’s like, “Oh,
look, this beagle.” What if it was like
a dancehall party. Like, a dance hall. Yeah, working class dog. Working class
bitch, look at him. Here come the dog, man. Bitch look at her. Here come the dog,
man, and him name Shaggy. OK. Just see a yorkie on
a fucking steel ladder just jump down just
fucking daggering a beagle. I’m like, “Yes!” Bend her over, bend her
over, bend her over. Bend her over, yo. I’m so special. Yo, either that or
like one of those like Swedish strong
man competitions where it’s just like–
DESUS: Where they pull– yeah. Yeah, they pull
the Mac truck– DESUS: They’re pulling a truck.
– –and shit like that. Like, yo, this nigga
is pulling a truck. Shout out to the homie
Seth Meyers, because he was explaining to us. He was like, the
hosting shit is wack. You don’t get paid
that much money. And then you get roasted
on Twitter, so why would you do it? And I was like, oh wow, it’s
like being in your kid’s lives, fuck that. [LAUGHTER] Next question. Mero: Kids be
roasting me all day. What’s up? My question is– over here. DESUS: Yep. It’s for Mero, actually. Because you go to
the Heights a lot, do people charge you extra? Like how is it going over there? Charging me extra? Yeah. No, it’s the opposite. I like overtip because
they like under charge. They’re like, “Yo,
you show mad love, yo. Da-da-da-da.” So like I overtip
the service people– you know what I’m saying–
as a show of appreciation. Be like, “Yo, thank you for
allowing me to eat fried food at 3:00 AM very easily. I appreciate y’all.” You know what I’m saying? And it’s all love.
You know what I’m saying? I’m out here with the chains
on and shit, all that. You know what I’m saying?
– That’s cool. Where’s your question for Desus? [LAUGHTER] Oh wow, wow, just a rampant
display of anti-Blackness. All right, next question. I also go to Washington
Heights, but I pay– I have to pay extra
because, you know, Black. I’ll be like, yo,
let get a– let me get the rice and the pernil. They’re like, “Oh, Jesus.” Oh, he said– oh, no. Oh. Papi, he said
the “R” in pernil. I’m like who is moreno. He said pernil. He said pernil. One day, I’ll learn
to pronounce that. No time soon, no time soon. Next question. Shout out to the BX. DESUS: Yo, shout out to the BX. Shout out to my man from Roc
Nation, J. Cole out here. I see you, yo. Mero: OK. DESUS: Platinum,
no features, yurr. Mero: No features, no,
you know what I’m saying? I get that a lot too. DESUS: Do you ever try to
capitalize off of that? Like if people come up like,
“Yo, J, I love you, J,” you don’t tell them you’re not. But you like still
take the photo. Mero: He’s just got to
be like “Yeah, shh.” Word. DESUS: That’s what I be
doing for Charlemagne. They’re be like, “Yo,
peace to the planet.” I’ll be like. Oh, my question
is do you guys ever think this show is going to
be so big because you guys are fucking hilarious in person– DESUS: Aw, thank you. – –hilarious.
– Thank you, bro. AUDIENCE: I really
appreciate you. All these jokes are
stolen from Twitter. [LAUGHTER] Put them all on Twitter The question is, is the
show going to be too big? No, did you guys
expect it to be this big? Like– Oh hell no. Oh, nah, this big? Like stage and like mad– I’d be like, from like day
one with the first podcast– oh, we were gas– one time at Complex they
gave us a cheese sandwich. And we was like, “yo.” Yo! And we wild. I think I teared up. I was like. Flex, yo, so the Time-Life
Building and your– Melt Shop is right there. DESUS: Yes. Y’all people. Because it wasn’t a
regular– it wasn’t some Bronx-ass cheese sandwich. And it wasn’t like the cheese
sandwich from Booking’s. It was like a gourmet– Gourmet. –cheese sandwich,
artisanal bread. Know what I’m saying? Some gruyere. KO. I took one bite. I let out the tear. And I was like, this is why my
parents came here from Jamaica. And then they charged us for it
out of our own fucking account. What the fuck? That’s when I knew
Hollywood was lies. Nah. Nah, this is– we never had
any expectations for this. But that’s why this
is like wild fun. Like, I mean, we were
in a helicopter once. Like who in the Bronx has
getting in a helicopter that hasn’t been going to jail? Besides Pio. That’s true. Oh my god. And it’s just going to
get bigger and bigger. You know what I’m saying? We’ve got the religious
cult coming next. Because– Mero: Feel me? –Kanye got Sunday service. We’re going to do
Saturday service. Because you might want to watch
the NFL game on Sunday, so. I’m back there just designing
sleeping bags and shit for all of us to murder ourselves. What we’re going to do–
because Kanye takes regular songs and makes them
gospel– we’re going to take freestyle songs. So I want to be the god
your Titi is loving, like that kind of thing.
– You know what I’m saying? It’ll be lit. (SINGING) Jesus loves. (SINGING) Come
back, mime slower. – (SINGING) Come back to me.
– We’ll work on that. Yeah, yeah. You know what I’m saying? Next question. Yo, what up, fellas? DESUS: Yurr. Yo, what the
brain is getting is brolic as a Barry Bonds fitted. DESUS: That’s cool. Mero: Size 10. What are some of the things
that y’all wish would stay– He Black and he know baseball. You know what I’m saying? Astros is cheaters too. Mero: Yeah, facts. DESUS: Say it louder. Say it louder. Fucking, fucking Astros. We’re going to throw
at them every game. – Yeah.
– Yeah. Batteries. What are some of
the things you all wish would stay the
same as you all are, you know, getting more famous
and getting more success? Just our, you know,
our access to the fans. Shit. Like being able to
like have y’all like right here and just interact
and being able to dap you up. Because as we get more
famous, whatever, like there’s going to be a bigger studio. Some of y’all are going
to try to kill us. And then we can’t touch y’all. So, you know, just being able
to have access to the fans. And then also, sadly,
you know, as, you know, we get a little further in life,
we’re losing track with things that regular people deal with. Because the other day, I
was like milk is how much? What? I was like, is that with
the Whole Food delivery fee? They was like, “Nigga.” [LAUGHTER] Also, I was on
Seamless like, yo, y’all don’t got “Entourage?” Look, I want to keep my
motherfucking weight the same. Because now motherfuckers
is eating good. And I’m getting fat. Goddamn. You guys are watching the
making of the second big pun. You know what I’m saying? Yo, season four– [INTERPOSING VOICES]
– This nigga loves Versace. This nigga– yo, he going
to be like, “I want to live. I want to live.” (SINGING) “Niggas
want to be like Mero.” “It’s so hard.” I bought them
titties you heard? Mero going to be hosting
the Puerto Rican day parade. And people will be
like, “Wait a minute. He’s Dom–” I’ll be like, “Shh.” Shh. And I’ll be on the
float like, “Wepa!” Let me get my shine. “Wepa!” That’s for Latino, hey. [LAUGHTER]

76 thoughts on “Is Rihanna Trolling Her Fans? | 5 Questions w/ DESUS & MERO | Season 2

  1. Im so special Im so special Im so special Im so special Im so special
    Im so special Im so special Im so special Im so special Im soooo special

  2. PSA to any future fans trying to kill the brand, in the words of the infamous Liam Neeson: We will find you, and we will stomp you out on camera with black Airforces.

  3. If someone ends up throwin a D cell during a game against the astros I dont need technology to know what pitch they throwin… A SLIDER!

  4. Desus really said “The making of the 2nd Big Pun” 😂 Y’all remember when Mero lost mad weight on Viceland b/c they were penny pinching like a mf lmao. Now Showtime came with the bag and my boy eating good fr fr

  5. I DM'd Riri and asked her to move into my house. she messaged me back 3 months later and said NO but she did it in a nice way.. I might still have a chance

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